Letters To Boys

An animated illustration of a family dressed as superheroes in blue flying
Jonathan Muroya for Fatherly

Manhood is an uncomfortable, unwieldy mantle for boys first trying it on. This has always been true, but never more so than now. Boys coming of age in an era defined by a rethinking, if not rewriting, of masculine norms can’t be expected to know how to wear their kindness and love, much less their aggression and wildness. With our “Letters to Boys” project, Fatherly offers boys (and the men raising them) guidance in the form of heartfelt advice given generously by great men. This is by no means a definitive guide to the issues boys face, but the letters tackle self-worth, the internet, civic duty, aggression, groupthink, bullying, and masculinity. More importantly, the men behind these letters show us how to take that crucial first step in confronting seemingly unsolvable issues — by offering honest words.

Life

Mike Sager on Fatherhood, “An Incurable Disease of the Heart”

By Mike Sager

Like life itself, parenting has its stages, and at some point, it's time for your kid to make their own mistakes.

Life
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Saladin Patterson: A Letter to My Son About Leaning Into Your Truth

By Saladin Patterson

In baseball, greatness is not all about swing path or launch angle. These are parts of the game, but they are not how a player reaches their potential. For that, they must dig deeper.

Life
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Dulé Hill: A Letter to My Son About Carrying Lightness Through Life

By Dulé Hill

A two year old is full of joy, love, and lightness. He will need to work to hold onto that. But it's a worthy effort — the only one that truly matters.

Life

Dr. Jonathan W. Gray: A Letter to My Son About Our Legacy, and Ourselves

By Dr. Jonathan W. Gray

What is legacy? Is it the lessons one generation teaches the next? Or something altogether grander?

Life
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Coss Marte: A Letter to My Son About How Very Far the Wrong Path Can Take You

By Coss Marte

When you pursue something at all costs, you are letting yourself get swept up in something bigger than you, something that can imprison your body and soul.

Life
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Kwang Uh: A Letter to My Son About the Care That You Bring to Food, and Life

By Kwang Uh

If you devote yourself and spend your time cooking a meal, the more delicious the food is. This is truth of cook — and life.

Life
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Ryan Hillsberg: A Letter to My Son About Staying Out of Danger

By Ryan Hillsberg

In the CIA, where Ryan Hillsberg worked for more than a decade, they call it "getting off the X." There's no better skill for a dad to impart.

Life
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Common: A Letter to My Cousin About Seeing His Power, Intelligence, and Beauty

By Common

Embracing vulnerability is more than just a bit of psychobabble. It’s the first step to acknowledging your strength, resiliency, and love. Only from this can a foundational belief in one’s worthiness arise.

Parenting
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Karamo Brown: A Letter to My Son About What It Means to Be a Man

By Karamo Brown

When we talk about "being a man," it is usually outdated code for emotional stagnation. It shouldn't be. Instead let it be about a process of emotional, mental, and moral growth.

Parenting
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Terry Crews: A Letter to My Son About Competition

By Terry Crews

Being competitive can get you far in life, driving success, fortune, and fame. It is also a toxic way of life, dehumanizing everyone around you and leaving you alone and sad.