4 Myths About Child Discipline

Parents have been desperate to control their children for generations. That impulse has historically mixed results and has led to strange traditions of child discipline. Sometimes we’re given hand-me-down myths and never truly know the story behind them. After consulting resources, Fatherly narrows down for you four myths about child discipline in a listicle video.

Number one: Strict parents raise well-behaved children. There’s a popular idea that the only way to raise a good kid is by being a total hard-ass. But that doesn’t encourage kids to develop empathy. Even a former Marine drill instructor understands that making demands of little kids is unproductive. According to Sergeant Chris Lopez, who is a master of discipline in any light, explanation and redirection present the best way forward.

Number two: Saying yes equals failing. There are times when saying yes is a completely reasonable strategy to avoid unnecessary conflicts. A parent’s main concern should be their child’s health and safety. Parents can say yes, but they should make sure the yes is connected to a condition. So the agreement becomes a “Yes, when…” or “Yes, if….” The conditions just need to be somewhat related to the request with a brief explanation as to why the conditions are required.

Number three: Shouting gets a kid’s attention. It turns out, the best way to disrupt a child’s behavior is by getting close and getting quiet. But parenting experts say calm needs to be coupled with quiet. Anger and frustration will only serve to create a feedback loop of emotion.

Number four: Don’t negotiate with children. Parents should use the age-old hostage-negotiator tactic of using empathy to build a connection to their kid in the moment.