Michelle Obama On Maintaining Your Identity And Self-Worth As A Parent

During a visit to The Drew Barrymore Show, Michelle Obama, as she often does, got into it with some excellent advice about how a parent can maintain their identity as something more than just “mom” or “dad.”

This all came up when Drew Barrymore wondered about life after the kids go off into the world. “What am I going to do when they do leave the nest, and it’s just me and my girlfriend and my kids living their life,? Barrymore asked. “Will that be enough? Will I be enough?” she continued, looking to Obama, who did not hesitate with her answer.

“You will always be enough,” said Obama. Then she offered advice on how to maintain a sense of happiness and identity that her father taught her.

“The beauty of Fraser Robinson, my father, was that I saw in him a feeling of ‘enoughnes’s in himself,” she shared, adding that he had “every reason to be resentful about life.”

She also recalled a creed that her father lived by: “If you had something on your plate that was good, and you hadn't finished it, and you were looking for more before you even enjoyed what was on your plate, you'd get in trouble.”

Obama’s father, apparently would say that ‘not being satisfied’ was “‘the thing that'll get you ... never being satisfied with what you have right here. Because it's enough. What you have is enough.’"

“We live in a time where it feels like folks never think it's enough,” Obama added. “We're always looking at the next thing on YouTube. And we're never satisfied, ever. I've met billionaires who are not satisfied. They don't feel like it's enough.”

The former First Lady then circled that story back to Barrymore’s question, with a simple tip that might help all of us feel less anxious about becoming empty nesters, or those of us worried about who we are without our kids.

“So that's the long way of saying: will you be ok? [Yes,] as long as you're ok with you. As long as you know that Drew, all alone, in her chair with a book is enough, then it doesn't matter whether your kids are there.”

You can see more of the interview from The Drew Barrymore Show episode on YouTube.