The 100 Funniest Parenting Tweets of 2018

The humor squeezed from the parenting experience doesn’t generally make for great dad jokes. Make no mistake: Dumb puns are great. But parent humor and dad humor are two different genres and the former thrives, like despots, “thought leaders,” and trolls, on Twitter, which has become a place for mothers and fathers to vent. At the best, Parenting Twitter is like NBA Twitter minus the beef, a broth-y stew of zingers and self-owns presided over (inevitably) by a benign queen named Chrissy Teigen.

In 2018, Fatherly scoured Twitter for the best jokes. Why? It’s better than doing real work and way better than changing diapers. What follows is a comprehensive roundup of the year’s best dad tweets, mom tweets, and exasperated, sleep-deprived person losing their mind tweets. These mini-missives might not be high art, but at least tweets can remind us that we’re all in this thing together.

Here are the funniest 100 parenting tweets of the year.

100. I Saw the Sign

99. True Horror

98. Surely You Joust

97. Edible Glitter

96. That’s a Wrap

95. School’s Out

94. Wood Penguins

93. Karate Kid

92. Weight Loss

91. Look Out Below

90. Five-Day Rule

89. A Fresh Perspective

88. Play the Lottery

87. Tuck Everlasting

86. Toilet Paper

85. So Sweet

84. Dad to the Bone

83. New Skills

82. Shout It Out

81. My Compliments to the Chef

80. Finally Ready

79. Prison Rules

78. Help Wanted

77. Shit Happens

76. Ye Olde Parenting Dilemma

75. Very Tight

74. Tit for Tattoo

73. Great Hiding Place

72. What’s in a (Nick)Name?

71. One Simple Trick

70. We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes

69. Pirate Parenting

68. The Sound of Silence

67. Two for One

66. If It Ain’t Broke

65. Real Accomplishments

64. Early Bedtime

63. Horse Sounds

62. Ball Is Life

61. People Helping People

60. So Sue Me

59. (Bed)Time is a Flat Circle

58. Let It Snow!

57. This Is My Jam

56. What’s In A Name?

55. Single Life

54. Who’s The Boss?

53. Orange You Glad You Have Kids?

52. The Proof is in the Pudding

51. Sound Strategy

50. Tough Crowd

49. Crying Over Spilled Coffee

48. Sick and Tired

47. Practice Makes Perfect

46. Stud, Sweat, and Tears

45. Trick and Treat

44. Chip Off the Old Block

43. All Grown Up

42. Who’s Your Daddy?

41. The Morning Routine

40. Dad Evolution

39. About A Toy

38. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

37. What’s the Password?

36. Sledbeat Dad

35. Plead the Fifth

34. Throw In The Towel

33. A Night At The Theater

32. In Control

31. Whodunnit?

30. Here Comes the Sun

29. What Do You Mean?

28. Loud and Proud

27. Handle With Care

26. Keep ‘Em Laughing

25. Still Waiting

24. Dazed and Confused

23. Ye Olde Dad

22. Life Finds a Way

21. Wake Up and Smell the Bourbon

20. Urine For a Treat

19. Before Breakfast

18. What’s Your Secret?

17. A Gift for Teacher

16. Is This Just Fantasy?

15. I Want Candy

14. Do As I Say…

13. Hiding Place

12. Who Dis?

11. Relive Your Youth

10. If You Please

9. Responsible Parenting

8. I Donut Play Favorites

7. Just Desserts

6. Defeat the Baby

5. Gotta Catch’em All!

4. The Whole Tooth

3. Bounce House Surprise

2. For The Birds

1. Hit Series Idea